How I feel…

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you’ve done
Forgive all your mistakes
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won’t be there

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won’t admit
Sometimes I just want to hide ’cause it’s you I miss
You know it’s so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I’ve missed you since you’ve been away

Oh, it’s dangerous
It’s so out of line to try to turn back time

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself

By hurting you

Transfer

Saptamana 20 – 26 Aprilie

Sa incepem cu sfarsitul….povestea cu printul s-a evaporat, asa cum era previzionat si planificat.

Ma adaptez unui nou mediu, stiu ce caut, sper sa si gasesc, numai ca am inceput sa obosesc sa fiu sef de cort si spectator la drama.

New feelings rised, don’t know from where, i don’t have the pacience like old days, i don’t know if i can enjoy or not, to dream or to put things black and white.

…what is meant to be it’s gonna be.

Overall, i’ m preparing for a rebirth….

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Sa mai descriu…? Am capatat o liniste de pamant… Vorbesc din ce in ce mai putin si ma rup din ce in ce mai mult de lume.. Ultimele zile au fost atat de zbuciumate incat reactia mea nu mai e de mult surpriza, deja sunt spectator, ma uit  cum se pierd visele mele, tot ce am vrut sa creez vreodata se naruie in prapastie.

M-am intors in locul care am suferit cel mai mult, in “palatul de clestar”, the memories ma zgarie ca creier ca niste flash-uri cu spini.

Nu mai imi doresc nimic pentru ca mi-am dorit prea mult.

Nu mai am nimic pentru ca nu stiu daca am avut vreodata ceva.

Ca stare generala, imi urasc familia, urasc tot ce e in jurul meu, ma urasc pentru ca tot ce am vrut sa fac, tot sacrificiul meu pentru dorintelle mele au fost in van, au fost aruncate pe apa sambetei. De cine ? De ce? Nu stiu.

Stiu ca am facut tot ce mi-a stat in putinta si am aflat cu stupoare ca nu mai depinde de mine, ca poate niciodata nu a depins, ca totul a fost conjunctura si faith. Asa ca privesc cu ochi tristi si goi cum se duce tot…Totul a devenit nimic.

Nu ma mai gandesc, nu mai fac plan, programari, schite, proiecte…

Nimic…Ma trezesc dimineata, beau apa fara sa-mi fie sete, mananc fara sa-mi fie foame…traiesc ca si cum as fi murit…

Daca ma intreaba cineva..unde ? Nu stiu, nu stiu nimic, sunt doar un pion, pentru ca daca as fi avut rol principal eram altundeva, somewhere i belong

Ma gandeam…solutia salvatoare: caut un sot multimilionar, joc rolul unei pitzipoance si sunt happy!!!

Nu-i asa ca e patetic si ridicol?

Daca te intrebi cu cine vorbesc, afla ca vorbesc singura.

Acest blog nu este dedicat publicului larg, ci mie si apropiatilor.

Mie ca sa pot sa-mi urmaresc evolutia si apropiatilor, “oamenilor” mei.

 Restul are dust

 

100.000 de oameni

Relatie si performanta…